Brandy, Texas, and Dogs.

I'm just going to start writing and hope that a theme or a even just a a purpose for this blog entry becomes apparent as I go. I didn't have any life-altering experiences or epiphanies this week. I went to the orphanage, hospital, school, church, had some fun in between. If I didn't care about remembering all the little details of my time here, I probably wouldn't even be writing a blog this week.


I guess I will begin by saying how CRAZY it is that our halfway mark is this Friday. I feel like it should have been a while ago. But then again, I feel like I barely got here. And when I look at July... I realize how little time I really have here. Honestly, I'm not sure what emotion I predominantly feel about this whole time issue haha.


This week had many little moments that are worth remembering. Each one is pretty insignificant, I guess, especially to anyone reading this back home. But I think my goal with them all is to paint a picture for when I return. Each seemingly insignificant detail is a single dot in one of those pointillism masterpieces that can only be appreciated when you take a few steps back and view every dot working together in its designated place. That's what I hope to create for myself with these blogs I guess. Something that I can look at when I go home, to remind me that (although I only have pictures indicating otherwise) my time here was more than just a vacation.

A picture of some of the graffiti that colors our path to the orphanage in the morning.

The orphanage is the same and yet different everyday. I never get tired of making this one girl, "Lana" laugh. She looks so frail and unhappy usually. But when you sit down and tease her with a soft toy touching her face (she's blind), or shake a noisy toy in circles around her she just laughs so hard, I worry about her already limited ability to breathe.


I've noticed last week that one particularly whine-y girl in a wheelchair is rarely picked up. She is older and a bit more aware, but she just often seemed unhappy. I decided to pick her up and carry her around for a bit, despite the fact that she is pretty big ha. Oh man, did she get excited the second I loosened the scarf that acts as a harness to keep her in her chair. We just walked around the room a bit, played with the curtains, played "Ridey horsey," and then practiced Rollin over on a mattress. I didn't think it was a big deal until one day a few days after I started doing that, I walked into the room, she saw me and instantly started rocking in her chair and just SQUEALING with excitement. I didn't even know she could recognize the difference between me and the other volunteers. But I know better now, and we get to play more often now.


Xavier is getting pretty good at kicking. Granted, we switched over to using a big balloon now, but he sometimes hits it with his head, his knees, and his feet before it bounces away from his chair. It's pretty impressive. He knows how to head the balloon and use any part of his body to hit it. He is actually obsessed with our game, haha. Sometimes it makes me feel bad, because he gets so upset when I have to tell him "later!" But I have to play with the other kids too! Sigh.

But we've been having a lot of fun. I push him out into the hallway, so we have more space and we just have a ball (pun intended). Some days, the little boy, Andrew, from the neighboring room comes out and plays with us. He is THE sweetest child, oh my word. I think he is 4 or 5, and he doesn't have a noticeable disability. He can walk and talk fine, but I don't know much about his situation. Regardless, he is a little angel. He has been in a room with many children who are confined to their beds for most of the day due to their disabilities, and he comes in and smiles, says hello, helps out the worker. When playing with Xavier and me, he just laughs and laughs. When Xavier does something exciting, Andrew runs to him and pats his hand and says "Bravo, Xavier!" It's heartwarming.

Another thing that's heartwarming? When I see Andrew from the hallway between our rooms and he stops what he's doing to yell "'Annaaaa!'" It's the thought that counts, right? And when we leave and he pulls us down to "pup" (pronounced "poop") us on each cheek. He's cutie for sure.


We had a few fun adventures at the orphanage! The daycare at the orphanage out on their end of the semester show for the parents. All in Romanian, super cute with songs and little poems being recited by the kids. The best part of the show, though? Definitely the finale, when the kids all danced to "Barbie Girl." I thought it was great that the final display to their parents was of the kids dancing to a song in English that is somewhat inappropriate haha.


And then there was the chocolate. The workers sometimes offer us little snacks while we are playing with the orphans in our room. This week, Maddy and I were offered some chocolate from this fancy looking box. Who am I to refuse chocolate? The first bite was cautious, since I knew they like to flavor their chocolate with rum. But, to my delight, it tasted fine and was obviously hollow, so I got excited for the next bite when I would see what the filling was. The next bite came along with liquid suddenly pouring into my hand and burning my throat. Between the burning and the smell, I figured it out; I had my first taste of alcohol! Haha Maddy and I froze and stared at each other with terror in our eyes as we figured out what it was. I awkwardly balanced a child in one arm and a hand full of chocolate and alcohol with the other until our worker left and Maddy threw out the rest of our pieces for us. 

Oh Romania.

The hospital has been pretty rewarding since we've spent so much time with the same children. We've come to love Ana, the teenage girl who isn't an orphan but has been at the hospital in the same room as the boy from another orphanage who will be there all summer. We'll call him Luigi. Thursday we were pretty bummed to find out after a while that it would be our last day to see Ana before she went home. We are glad, of course, that she's well enough to go home. But we'll miss her. So far we haven't been able to find her on Facebook, despite her giving us her full name. 

Anywho, we had a fun time talking with her, playing with Luigi, and talking to a nurse doing her residency at the hospital. We discovered that the two girls have been bribing Luigi to do funny things like playing a game or saying he loves them. He showed us his drawer of money at one point, grabbed a handful, and walked out the door saying "I'm going to get coffee" in Romanian. We all laughed and kept talking. We said goodbye to Ana and we're just about to leave when Luigi came in carrying three cups of hot chocolate (with the help of another patient down the hall) from the automatic coffee/cocoa machines in the hall. He told Ana they were for us!! It made our day, because he is pretty tricky to read sometimes, so we don't know if he really likes us. It was such a sweet thing for him to do, especially since he doesn't have much for himself to begin with.



The rest of this post is going to be pretty sporadic but here it goes.


Radu, a 24(?) year old man in the branch here in Iași, is leaving for the rest of the summer for an internship. We got together to have a farewell meal with him at this little, hidden "hipster" cafe, as people described it. It was pretty cute! Hot chocolate, board games, so much cigarette smoke that I could feel years of my life slipping away. Haha it really was fun though. I'm going to miss Radu. He is a spiritual giant. I've heard so much about him from Renee and other people, and he lived up to every wonderful thing they've said about him.

I told you it was hidden. I love ivy-covered buildings.

Remember how I mentioned that there are stray dogs everywhere over here? Well we befriended one on our way home from the hospital this week. He followed us for a good 20 minutes, and after the first 3 minutes I was emotionally attached to him. So much so that I screamed in fear at least twice when I thought he was about to be hit by a car, and I ran, yelling "nu!!!" at a large dog that started to charge our own dog. Luckily the other dog ran off and I didn't have time to discover if he did in fact have rabies.


Honestly I've exercised my self-control in so many ways on this trip. The amount of self-mastery it takes on a daily basis for me to not pet/cuddle these dogs is truly a testament of how much I'm growing.

Hard to see, but I have a very upset face and 6 dogs behind me. The one in front is our hospital pal.

Oh and some ladies brought a dog into church last week. That was interesting.


Another interesting thing I've seen? Aside from men just stepping off the path to pee in public? Twice now I've seen mothers hold their children by their arms and legs, hold them above the ground with their pants down, trying to get them to poop on the ground. So strange.


Also, I spent about ten minutes trying to be a cat whisperer the other morning. There are these four tiny kittens outside our apartment, and my roommate and I were late to the orphanage because we spent so long trying to beckon one over to us. I got pretty close, and probably could have pet the one, but I knew it'd just run off if I did. Of course, at least ten people walked by while I squatted in the middle of the path and called to the cat with a leaf in my hand. I got some weird looks. But here's the glorious part: I didn't even care. I really hope that the "it doesn't matter what other people think of me" thing sticks when I get back to the U.S.


We went to Little Texas (an American restaurant) and boy was it good. The whole restaurant was adorable, from the swinging saloon doors to the country music playing in the background. It felt like we were back home for a little bit. Until we saw our waiter's face as we ordered an outrageous amount of food. Then we were reminded of where we were again. But it didn't bother us to be in Romania when the check came! I got a mint lemonade, the Gene Hackman cheeseburger, a side of fries, and this divine chocolate cheese cream pie for the equivalent of $13.50. I'm a big fan of Little Texas.

What a babe. 

Oh and did I mention, that I am going to see my best friend this week?? Renee has been serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for the last 9 months in the Romania/Moldova mission. She's been in Moldova, the small neighboring country, for the whole time I've been in Romania. But my group is traveling to Moldova this weekend for a mini vacation! I wanted to surprise Renee, so I emailed her companion to talk sneaky run-in plans with her haha. Well, her companion ratted me out, BUT it's for the best. They weren't sure if she'd be allowed to meet up, so Renee called her mission president... And I get to spend Saturday with my best friend! We can meet up for lunch and chill for a bit, and I get to go teaching with her and her companion. And then I will see her on Sunday when I go to church. Basically, I'm ridiculously excited for this weekend. How often do you get to see your best friend at the half way point of their mission when they are half a world away from home??
Blessings.

This was taken on our last day together!

So that's my update. Nothing crazy, just the little details and experiences that make up the life that's worth living. There's a quote by Neal A. Maxwell that says "Moments are the molecules that make up eternity!" It's so important to remember that sometimes. It's so important to remember than life is more than just the big adventures and landmarks in our lives. What about everything in between? I need to remember to be here, be in the moment. Not just now, when I AM on an adventure, but everyday. Because those little moments make up a beautiful canvas that I will someday look back on in awe.


Despite the fact that I'm being eaten alive by Mosquitos every night and that my Achilles are both causing me oodles of pain, this is where I'm meant to be right now.

(Also, everything above this line was written several days ago and took forever for me to actually post... So don't be surprised when I post again soon).

Stay classy, America.

Be Still, My Soul

Disclosure: there were no vacations or exciting day trips this week. So if you are bored by the orphanage/hospital talk, just keep on scrolling.


This week flew by. Which is the opposite of what you'd expect when there was nothing unique breaking up my schedule from the daily routine. But that's just what made it go so quickly! I decided to stop thinking of it as a routine.


I have this bad habit of getting into the habit of things. I like having a ritual, whether it is my morning or nightly ritual, I just feel good when I have things down and I know what I'm doing and do it over and over. Well the problem with that habit is that I think it was starting to make me think of things in a "tomorrow you have to do this, this, and this" way rather than being excited about the rare opportunity that this is. Because honestly, I am so blessed to be here!


I've made a conscious effort this week to remember how my time here is an opportunity. Nobody is making me get up early and go to the orphanage. So why am I doing it? Because I love those kids, and I love that I get to be a part of something this meaningful. And since that's true, I need to be more positive and get excited about this work! And since I've decided that, my time has flown by so much faster. Which is ironic, because I don't want it to go TOO quickly, now that I'm loving more every day.


Anywho, time to update y'all on my week. Basically, this week has been full of tender moments-- at the orphanage, the hospital, even the kindergarten (gasp!). Let's start with the orphanage.


There is this fragile little boy, "Duncan" for the sake of this blog, who I think I can safely say stole our hearts with his first smile. He is about two years old but is tiny and frail. He has some health problems with his lungs on top of his disabilities and visual impairments, so he often struggles to breathe. Basically, seeing him makes you want to cry. But when you pick him up he just curls into a little ball of joy. The biggest smile breaks across his face, and you just never want to put him down, because you don't want to risk it going away.


Well, the other day I held him/danced with him for about half an hour before I decided to try putting him down. Finally I sat down and held him on my lap, his head supported by my chest since he can't do it himself. I rocked from side to side slowly because he just loves movement. Eventually I realized he had fallen asleep in my lap. He was so peaceful I didn't dare try to lay him down, because I didn't want to wake him up. So I just kept rocking slowly, and eventually I started to slouch down more and more on the bed I was sitting on. Eventually we got to the point where he was practically laying flat on my body, and I closed my eyes too and almost fell asleep with that little angel asleep on me for about an hour.


It's moments like that when I wish I could take pictures in the orphanage. Just because it was such a sweet moment to me, and I want a picture so I can see and remember it for years. As I lay there, I started to feel a lot of excitement for moments like that in my future when I am a mom. I know it's rare as a mom to have time to just curl up and take a nap with your child, but dang it, I intend to, because it would be so wonderful.


When Xavier came in from outside, he was ready to play. And he was not happy that I had to turn him down, because I was holding a sleeping Duncan still. He kept using his eyes to tell me to put the baby down haha. And when that didn't work he tried getting the attention of the other workers to get them to take Duncan for me. Eventually, he woke up on his own, but it was funny to see how Xavier was so jealous of my attention! What girl doesn't like feeling appreciated for her time? Haha!


Anywho, I decided to try a new game with Xavier this week... Soccer! An adapted version of soccer at least. I set up a chair a few feet in front of his wheelchair, hold a ball out, count to three and drop it. He then kicks somewhat spastically and sometimes hits the ball. Sometimes it even rolls into the goal! We both get very very excited when that happens haha. I started doing a fist bump with him after he scores, so I hold out my fist and say "knuckles!" After a lot of effort he lifts his arm up and I bump his hand with my own.


Like all of the games we play, he never gets sick of this one. But I don't get sick of this one either! He is always so excited to play it. When he comes in he starts directing me to grab a chair, where to put it, which ball to use, and he kicks his legs at the air to make sure I understand, all the while grinning that sweet smile of his. He is something else.


I have had a worry on my mind for a while about him though... He is 17, so he is the oldest orphan there for sure. He's been there for so long, since the orphanage has the technology and treatments to take care of him. But... At what point are they going to say he is too old? I asked my head teacher where kids go who are too old for the orphanage. I didn't like the answer. Some of the children in my room just don't have the life expectancy that they will even make it to that point. But... There are adult/young adult orphanages. Apparently no one even talks about them in Romania, because they are just embarrassed by the quality of the place. I'm terrified by that. I want to do SOMETHING to help. I just hate the thought of it.


So with all the uncertainties that are on my mind about the orphanage, there are some things that are certain. Those children are sweet and need love and I'm so so happy to be the one to give it. Sometimes a child may just scream and whine for what seems like hours. But then when you pick them up, hold them, play with them... You realize that they must just be so lonely and bored all the time. If I were strapped into a stroller all day, I would probably be screaming too.


The hospital has been pretty rewarding this week too! I sometimes feel like we don't do much good there. Just annoy the nurses and weird out the child who is there for a day and has no idea what we are saying to him. But lately we've had some "regulars" who we've been able to get to spend more time with than normal. One boy we met there is going to be here for the next three months. The first day we met him he would barely even look at us. By the end of that day he played a bit but was quiet still. We've seen him several times now, and he is CRAZY haha. He talks and runs around, climbs under stuff, plays with us. He has warmed up to us so much. He is an orphan at a different orphanage than the one we work at, so it's nice knowing where he will be going back to after this summer.


There is a teenage girl who is in his room, named Ana, who isn't an orphan but has been there a while. We e become pretty good friends with her. She plays cards with us and speaks to us in English. The other day she saw me trying to fix my hair and had me sit down on the bed so she could braid it for me. Felt like I was in tangled when the little girls braid Rapunzel's hair. 'Twas glorious. 

One of our favorite moments, however, has to be with this burn victim. This nurse restored my faith in the workers at the hospital. She came and asked us if we could come visit another child, which of course we were happy to do. She told us that he had been badly burned when his shirt caught fire while playing around a fire on the street with his friends. Since he's been at the hospital, somebody stole his electronic tablet, and he was just heartbroken. The nurse wanted us to cheer him up. After introducing us to him, I asked the nurse about his family situation. Apparently, he has parents, but they have not come visit him once since he's been there. And he's been there at least a couple weeks. So wrong. The nurse said that the boy should be ready to be released soon, but before she lets him go she's going to talk to he parents and determinedly they never came. If they don't care for their son, she said she would send for CPS. I'm thankful for people like her who truly care about the children they're working with.


Anywho, when we first saw him, he looked positively miserable. After a long while of us giving him stuff to play with and acting like idiots to make him smile, he opened up to us little by little. Seeing his smile later on as we played with him was one of the most beautiful sights I've seen in all of this country so far.


Teaching has been pretty interesting. I can't tell if I'm starting to care less about my lessons failing or if I just am loving the kids more haha. They have their shining moments. And their not so shining moments. They know how to push you to the edge and right as you are teetering on that cliff, they will come over and pull you down so they can kiss your cheek or say in a thick accent "teacher, I love you!" Or "oooh beautiful hair!" Regardless, I am starting to enjoy my time there even with all the sweat and screaming and chaos. 

That is my "No, I'm pretty sure I gave you a pretzel already and you ate it" face during my edible bracelet lesson.

This girl is my number 1.

This is a more realistic depiction of what the school is like. Please not the child under the table and the one sitting on top of it. 

I call this one "Girl on table, feat. my shoulder as I step forward to lay down the law (finally)."

Not sure what my hands are doing here.

I think my time here is making me a more empathetic person... Which is actually a bad thing, because I already empathize an abnormal/unhealthy amount with people... Fictional or real. Seriously. If you've ever watched a movie with me, you know I cry in everything from Homeward Bound to Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. I've watched a lot of movies this week in my down time. I have cried during EVERY one. Seriously. It's getting ridiculous.


I also bought myself a cheep soccer ball at the mall so I can practice a bit. Unfortunately there aren't many open places around iasi where I could go practice. So my current field is our 6'x4' rug on the floor of our living room, where I practice tricks and juggling. I'm sure my neighbors below love it.


Oh speaking of neighbors, our crazy old man below us came barging in again. I was in the shower when he came into the apartment yelling that our bathroom was leaking into their apartment below. So luckily, my roommates were able to keep him from coming into the bathroom until I sneaked out into the bedroom. He means well, but since we don't speak the same language and he forces his way into our apartment, he makes us a tad uncomfortable.


Oh Sunday we went to a baptism for a baby in our orphanage! He got baptized in the Biserica Balpalarei, a beautiful, small church built in the 1600s. So cool! The ceremony was beautiful. I have to say, my favorite part was listening to the priests singing. There were several polyphonic chants that just resonated in the church, and it was SO beautiful. I sat there thinking about how different our church is from this Romanian Orthodox Church. But at the same time, it was beautiful and the ceremony was a manifestation of people living their life in a way that remembers The Savior. No matter the differences, we have that in common-- we are all children of God seeking to come closer to Him to the best of our ability, however we know how to do that.

It was a lovely day, and now that I can cross off "write blog" from my to-do list, I can finally eat my chocolate cake that I've been bribing myself with all day. I'm pretty flipping excited.


Things are good here. They are great. And I'm excited to be a part of it, if only for a short few months.

Also everyone in Utah should stop getting married while I'm gone. That'd be great, thanks.

Guess who is determined to learn Romanian? This girl! I just want to be able to communicate with my best friend when she gets home from her mission here. Then we can have a secret language, muahaha. Yesterday I was pretty productive. I wrote in my journal, practiced ASL, did a Romanian verb conjugation lesson, and practiced soccer a bit.


I know this last part of the blog seems kind of discombobulated-- that's because I am throwing things in that I forgot/I was going to post yesterday but now I'm including today's events too. Today in the orphanage, a child threw up on me. Quite a bit. Only about an hour into our time there too ha. But things got better! I played the soccer game with Xavier until it was time for me to leave. He did his usual puppy dog pouting face, and then I decided to try hugging him. I held my arms out and waited for him to lift his up. Grinning, he slowly raised his arm high enough for me to fit under, and I hugged him. Turns out he is really strong. Once his arm clamped down, it was pretty difficult to get out again haha. It was a really sweet moment though.


On our way out of the hospital today, we looked out the window to see a mini hurricane raging outside. It is a solid 30 minute walk home, however, and we decided to brave it. It was pouring. Huge rain drops, crazy wind. The street was completely flooded, coming up to our mid-calves in sections. I tried not to think about the dog poop and cigarette buttes that were floating in them. But let me just tell you how much I LOVE the rain. Did I mention it was thundering and lightning? Easily one of my favorite experiences here so far. Feeling the rain completely soak you is just one of those feelings that never gets old. 

The "Before" Picture

During.

We had the classic stares from people, taxi and other drivers honking at us, and one mean person purposefully speeding through a puddle to send a wave of water splashing into us like in the movies. Luckily, we had already reached our saturation point, so it didn't really matter haha. The three of us probably looked like idiots (three completely soaked American girls running through the rain) but I didn't even care haha. 

After. This was a snapchat, so the quality looks all weird.

So in closing... You need to know that I watched a scary movie. It's important, stay with me. I watched "The Call," and I don't want to hear ANY comments from someone saying it's not scary. I was completely terrified, and I have been struggling to sleep ever since. I'm a wimp, I know. But I think a lot of it has to do with me being alone in a foreign country, sleeping alone in the living room, and feeling like every person I make eye contact with on the streets wants to hurt me.

In general, everything is great. But I'm human and have my down days/nights. Sometimes I find myself really stressing over money or my relationships with other people, or anything. Sometimes I just want to be home, back where I feel like I know what I'm doing and it's less stressful.  And to be honest, sometimes I feel really lonely. But those are just moments, and they don't have to last. Especially when I am a part of something this special.

Anywho, I've been listening to hymns to fall asleep, and last night I listened to "Be Still My Soul." Now, I've listened to that song a million times, but last night some of the words were especially powerful to me. So I want to close with them:



1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Stay classy, America.

From Pennsylvania to Transylvania (and Between)

Time is so weird. It's been 14 days since my last blog post. I have 73 days left until I come home. It feels like I just BARELY wrote in this. But if I waited another 14 days, we will be under 60 days until I am done here! That is crazy. Weight loss programs last longer than that.

I have experienced so much in the last two weeks, which is probably why I have been putting off writing this. But I just need to suck it up and do it. So here it is.

Adventures began with our electrical issues. The electrical box in our apartment would start making this loud crackling noise and occasionally send out sparks. The lights in our apartment would flicker, and it was a jolly old time.

One night I had the pleasure of staying up for the majority of the night while the box crackled and sparked for hours on end. The power went out and was out for three or four hours during the night, which wouldn't have been an issue if it didn't also send an electrical current out that randomly would turn the power on for half a second before going out, which meant that the fridge would beep loudly repeatedly. I guess I could have just unplugged the fridge. But at that point my only thought was concern for the gelato I had in the freezer. Don't worry- I saved it from an early death.


The power came on the next day, but I was sick since I got no sleep. Let me tell you, staying home sick in Romania is rather boring. Especially when the power goes out again. Our landlord promised that electricians would come by that night by 10 PM. Some of my roommates were rather upset about the power loss, but weirdly... I really enjoyed it! Our landlord was SO helpful and that made everything easier. He even left a lamp for us to use since it was dark. We put the lamp on the floor and played card games in the light and listening to music from a laptop until it died.

Maybe it was because the power would go out during thunderstorms at home growing up, but I thought it was such a fun night. I wasn't even upset when a spider appeared on the wall behind us. FYI, in the shadow from the lamp, it looked huge. But I am the designated spider/bug killer in our apartment. Girls Camp prepared me well.

We finally gave up on the electricians when they hadn't appeared by 11. So everyone went to sleep. At 12:30 AM, I am the last one awake. I am laying in bed in the living room when someone knocks on the door. My heart nearly stopped beating. When I looked out and saw two men standing in the dark hallway, the only thing that kept me from panicking was their obvious work uniforms. Still, I woke up the other girls before I opened the door haha. They fixed what was apparently a loose wire and we haven't had issues since! I just think it's crazy that they showed up so late as if that were totally normal haha.

Before I give an update on the orphanage and hospital, I want to talk about our weekend vacation. I sometimes worry that it seems like I'm just on a vacation this summer. That I'm visiting all these beautiful places in Eastern Europe. After all, those are the majority of the pictures that I post. Well, the truth is that if I think of this summer as a vacation, there's no way I'd make it through the full 3.5 months. I already would have reached the point where I think "okay, this has been a really long vacation. I could go home now." But it's so much more than that. So I wanted to preface my stories of our fun adventures with he explanation that I am here for the orphans. I'm here for the children at the school and the hospital. More than anyone reading this needs to know, I need to constantly remind myself. But here is Brașov for you.

We took a bus from Iasi, with probably 15 other passengers. It was a pretty enjoyable ride, aside from the usual craziness that is inherent to the driving system in Romania. (If I had a lei for every time I thought the words "I'm going to die" while we drove to/through/from brașov, I could probably buy my own private jet to bypass the crazy roads). Maybe 3 or 4 hours into the 6 hour drive, someone cut off our bus, the driver slammed on the breaks, and someone's drink flew forward and exploded on the floor of our bus. The majority of us were in the splash zone. It didn't take long for us to discover that the drink was some form of alcohol, so the bus ride wreaked for the next couple hours, while girls in our group attempted to remove the stains on their shirts.

I picked a bad day to wear open-toed shoes.

I can now say that my baseball cap has passed its final initiation rite-- being drenched in alcohol.

Ps. An old man laughed at me when he saw me holding up my hat to take a picture of it that I can no longer fine. Sacrifices.

We finally made it to Brașov and found our hostel. My first hostel experience. It's pretty cool. Much more relaxed than a hotel. Our host mom was the sweetest most energetic woman ever. And she could talk at a ridiculous pace. Anywho, our first day was a site day--- dracula's castle! More formally known as Bran castle. We drove up to Transylvania and took the grand tour of the castle.

First off, I read Bram Stoker's "Dracula" last semester. And let me tell you, in reality the castle is hardly what you'd imagine when you think of "Dracula" or even "castle." It was pretty fantastic though. Not creepy at all. You can form your own opinion with the pictures.

Secret staircase inside!

Quote of the trip-- man to me: "Where are you from in the U.S.?"
Me: Pennsylvania.
Man: oh, so you're a local!
Awkward pause.
Me: No, no, Pennsylvania. Not Transylvania.


Next stop: Râșnov fortress! Another pretty cool place. We climbed to the top of the ruins and saw an amazing view of Romania! Including a flag, billowing in the wind. Basically any tourist's dream photo opportunity.

I even saw some people larping! I think they may have been filming a historical video or something, but I like to think they were larping. Also this guy? He's the weapons master. He was in his own little world, and extremely awkward and slightly morbid sometimes. So wonderful.

The rest of our day was spent back in the center of Brașov, where we walked the streets. Basically, it's the cutest town ever. Smack dab in the middle of the green hills, with the most colorful little old buildings, the typical fountain in the center, gelato carts all over. It is a major tourist hub, so we heard a lot of English, as well as other languages.

Quite honestly, I feel like the majority of my money was spent on food that weekend. Rather than break it down into day by day, I'll just list my favorite foods for you right now. I had this wonderful ice cream cake called Rokoko. Divine. And then this four cheese pizza (but it was with a bunch of unique cheeses, didn't taste American at all.) ciocolata rece-- basically frozen hot chocolate with ice cream in it. So good. I may have purchased three in a 24 hour period. And then pasta and pastries and yeah I could go on. But instead I'll just move on.

We had lots of time to wander the streets of the beautiful old time and visit shops and various food stands. But we also went to visit some beautiful sites not too far away. We went to the Peleș Palas, home to the first royal family of Romania. They made us wear some footies over our shoes, because it was THAT fancy. Also there were no pictures allowed. I just obtained the following poor-quality pictures through Google, I swear.

Turns out I have a selfie on Google. Weird.

I probably should have planned a non-flannel outfit for the palace. Didn't really look like I belonged there.

I'm the one sticking out from the statue of fruit on the left. 

My favorite part of the weekend? Șapte scări. Hands down, THE coolest hike I've ever done. We walk for a while through this beautiful green, hilly region. Eventually the path runs into the thick woods and gets relatively steep. After a long while, we get to the waterfall. NexT step? Climb 7 ladders next to the waterfall in the slot canyon to get up above it. So. Stinking. Cool.

A couple of us rented bikes for a couple hours and just explored the town! It was so stinking beautiful. Also, despite the expression "it's just like riding a bike" implies, if you haven't ridden in a while, bikes are tricky. I may have crashed a couple times. But it was a lovely time in general. Despite pigeons never getting out of the way. Dang pigeons.

We also hiked up to the Brașov sign in Hollywood-style letters up on the side of the mountain. And by "hiked" I mean, we took a lift up to the top then walked to the part where the sign was. I nearly gave my head teacher a heart attack, because I was climbing up all the bars behind the giant letters. She threatened me with "Hannah, if you die, I'm going to hate you forever." And I didn't want to risk her hatred. She's lovely.

See those letters? That's where we went!

View from the letters.

We did hike down, however, and it had its own mini adventures. Like when Morgan and I heard our roommate screaming up on the path behind us. There was a snake in her path and she stood there frozen screaming for me to get rid of it haha. We ran up and nudged it with a stick til it slithered off. I barely escaped with my life.

Also apparently some people speak German as a second language around here. Since I took it for 4 years, I was pretty excited about it when a man coming up the path started talking to me. At first it was in Romanian, but when I told him in Romanian that I don't speak Romanian, he asked about German. When I said "I know a little bit of German," he just went off as if I were a native. I think I actually understood about 70% of what he said, but I just completely blanked on how to reply haha. My favorite sentence.... "Ja, wir haben das....sign.....gesehen."(we saw the sign" in broken, improper German with the English word for "sign." But it was still cool using a bit of German outside the U.S.

Weirdly, I think the ride home was one of my favorite 6 hour blocks of my entire trip so far haha. You know how a dog can ride with its head out the window and be thoroughly entertained by that the entire time? Yep. That's me. I put my headphones in, stuck my hand out the window, and bam. I was set for the ride. We drove through the most beautiful countryside, and I just was in the best mood. I love road trips and wind and Romania.

JUST LOOK AT THOSE HILLS. Unreal. 

Hashtag no filter.

And that was our weekend. Back to reality. But my reality here is still unreal to me sometimes. Sometimes I am exhausted and downhearted from my experiences. But when I take a step back... These kids are teaching me some amazing things.


Xavier, the 17 year old boy in my room, teaches me so much every day. Sometimes he likes to show off for me. He directs me with his eyes to get a specific book from the shelf, grab a chair, put it next to him, sit next to him, put the book in his lap, and watch him work. His motion is limited, so his goal is to rip the page off the remainder of the book. And he does it. The concentration on that boy's face when he works to lift his arm and eventually bring it down to the book. He struggles to grab it and sometimes he misses completely and has to begin the large, slow arc that his arm makes when he lifts it. Sometimes he works so hard that he shakes and sweats. It's amazing. He has to work SO hard to do a motion that I completely take for granted.

He also helps me learn how far I have to go still to become the person I want to be. I often get tired of playing our games way before he gets sick of them, and I need to be so much more patient and selfless. But when that boy smiles at me, oh man. That's happiness. He's the only guy that can make me stack blocks on my head repeatedly, or pretend to be surprised every time he knocks the book to the ground after having me turn away. And man, does he have the pouty face down when he doesn't want us to leave or if I'm busy playing with a different child. He's a pro at sticking that lip out haha.

And then there's "Brittany." She is something else. She is determined to walk. She is 4 or 5 and we are just seeing the beginning of her walking phase. When we first got there, she mostly was pushing a mini stroller around to help her balance while she practiced walking. But now... She is taking more and more steps on her own. She actually screams when she can't be taken out to practice walking in the hall haha.

Sometimes she will walk a few steps and then fall. For those first few steps she has this smile of just pure joy in her face. I remember one time she fell and bumped her head. She cried for a while, and refused to to walk again on her own for the whole day. And I started thinking about it and her and BAM another blog-worthy, unoriginal analogy by Hannah Kruman was developed.

I think in a lot of ways, we are like children learning to walk. Whether it's in trying new things, love, or school. We take a few shaky steps and wham! Down we go. Sometimes it's just a bump or bruise. Sometimes you hit the ground hard though. And sometimes, you don't want to keep trying to take those steps, because the memory of the fall before are more memorable than the fleeting moments of successfully walking. And every time you convince yourself that you should try again, you fall eventually. And the memories of the falls all add up to the point where most of us just give up and settle for a life where you're not really walking/living. Just moving forward by clutching to whatever object seems more secure than your own wobbly legs.

Brittany is brave though. And she wants to walk. She decided that the joy of walking was greater than the fear of falling down again. And the smile on her face and in her eyes tells me that I need to do the same, even when I'm afraid.

And the girl who struggles so much to even breath. Each breath looks like it takes so much effort. How can I not feel blessed when I am with these kids?

Or the babies abandoned in the hospital? We found two babies in incubators. The nurse explained to us that the one girl who was bandaged from head to toe had this rare genetic disorder where her skin doesn't produce collagen. So her skin just has all head open wounds and falls off super easily. It was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. How is the hospital going to care for her? She's alone in the world. No one can even hold her. Not that she has anyone in her life to. But we would have if she were strong enough. 

The thing that broke me down was when the nurse said "she's a fighter though. She had a twin who died last week. She is a fighter though." I realized that the twin was most likely the boy that I saw in there one of my previous visits.

That was the first day that I cried (in front of someone) on this trip.

Basically, things are good. I learn so much every day. I shouldn't put off blogging, and I need to remember to live in the moment. I need to step up my milka bar eating game. And I need to stop analyzing time.


It's a weird thing, time. It is like dreams. They are slippery things. When you think back on your dreams, the harder you try to grab hold of them, the farther away they slip from you. And time is like that too. I find myself counting down, but never wanting to go home. Wanting time to speed up, but wanting it to keep me here forever. And whichever emotion I have at the moment, time seems to do the opposite. In a way, everything is kind of like that. The more you squeeze at something or someone and try to do what you want with it, the more they slip through your fingers.

So I need to learn to just let it be and enjoy the ride instead of always trying to change things I can't control. Someone close to me told me recently, "Don't worry about things you can't control. Just leave that to God." And that's what I'm slowly learning to do. I'm pretty bad at it. And I usually stumble and fall. But I'm not ready to quit yet. I'm going to keep stumbling forward until I can walk. And in the mean time, I'm just going to live.

Stay classy, America.